


To Feed A Starving Heart

by TheBeautifulLove



Category: K-pop, NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Cuddle Cafe AU, Falling In Love, Kissing, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT)-centric, Mark Lee is a little touch-starved, Mark is a client, Romance, Soft and sensual, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Yuta is a professional cuddler, set in tokyo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:13:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26064028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBeautifulLove/pseuds/TheBeautifulLove
Summary: ‘Hello! Welcome to “Healing Touch” cuddle café, how can I help?’ The receptionist asks brightly and Mark just stands there for a long moment with his mouth slightly open.A cuddle café...? That is a real thing?
Relationships: Mark Lee/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 26
Kudos: 320





	To Feed A Starving Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, lovelies!  
> Look who's jumping on the Yumark train...  
> They've been so cute lately, I couldn't resist.  
> This was somewhat inspired by the scene in Irregular  
> Office where Mark plays with the brown rabbit toy under his  
> desk in a full suit and also by the song 'Sun and Moon'.  
> Hope you all enjoy!  
> Leave lots of comments and kudos :)  
> As always,   
> love, and stay safe xx

Moving to live in a new country is always difficult. Mark didn’t expect his new life in Japan to be easy but it turned out to be more challenging than he’s expected. 

Studying and working takes most of his time, not leaving much to spare. And even when he does have some, he doesn’t know what to do with it. He knows he should be trying to improve his Japanese skills, that’s the right thing to do but that too seems like work and he’s just so tired. 

Far away from family and friends, in a different culture, not too dissimilar to his home of South Korea but still somehow entirely different, he feels pressured and stressed. On the phone to his mother, he assures her he’s doing well, only to end the call and stare out the window of his small room, in his equally small apartment and wonder if he’s made the right choice. 

‘You know, there is something that could help you.’ His closest friend in Tokyo, Akiro, tells him one day after Mark complains of his alarmingly frequent headaches and insomnia. 

They both don’t have many friends here, so they tend to stick together during their shared lectures and sometimes during lunch breaks. How they met - it’s both a little sad and humorous story, really. 

***Flashback***

Mark was confused. It was his first day at the university and he was looking for the lecture room he was supposed to go to for the past ten minutes. He knew he was probably going to be late but he didn’t care that much. It was the beginning of the first semester, the professor would have to be a monster in human skin to punish someone who’s never stepped foot into this building before for just a few minutes of lateness. 

There was a boy walking in front of him, somewhat slowly, almost annoyingly so, which didn’t help at all. Mark was about to fasten his footsteps and pass him by when a dark brown leather wallet fell from the back pocket of the boy’s jeans. 

‘Excuse me!’ Mark bent down to pick it up quickly. ‘You dropped something.’ The boy turned around and wore a startled expression. Not just surprised, like one might be in that situation but genuinely shocked and astonished. 

He looked at Mark with wide eyes, not paying any attention to the wallet in the shorter boy’s outstretched hand. ‘Could it be you?’ He asked finally.

‘Me...?’ Now Mark was just clueless and very late for his class. 

The slightly taller boy pushed the black-framed glasses further up his nose nervously. ‘Are you my soulmate?’ He asked and without warning proceeded to push his grey sweater up to reveal a tattoo in Japanese, sitting few centimetres below his heart, where every person’s soulmate mark appears. 

At this point, some students passing them by were giving them curious looks, so Mark pulled the boy’s sweater back down quickly. ‘Let’s go to the bathroom.’ He was growing more nervous and curious with every passing second. Could it really be true?

Locked in a cubicle, Mark asked him why exactly did the boy thought they were soulmates. 

‘Read it.’ He showed him the tattoo again and Mark swallowed loudly before he leaned down to take a good look, which he had no time to before. 

“Oh, he dropped something.” was written clearly on his lightly tanned skin. 

It’s supposed to be the first thought that one’s soulmate will have about them upon seeing them for the first time. Now it made more sense.

Mark smiled somewhat sadly at him. The thing is that every person that one meets in their life, they always have a first thought about them, whether conscious or not and if one wishes, they can recall it at will with no effort; it just comes to them easily. That’s how the world works. 

Recalling his first thought of the boy standing before him, he already knew they weren’t meant for each other. ‘Gosh, he’s a slow walker.’ Mark recited from a memory that came to him as clearly as could be. He watched the disappointment grow in the boy’s eyes. ‘That was my first thought about you. I’m sorry.’ 

He looked down to the tiles on the floor and nodded. ‘A foreigner.’ He recited his first thought about Mark - the standard procedure in those situations. The Korean shook his head, just to confirm that this is not what his own soulmate tattoo says. He lifted up his shirt, letting the other read it quickly. 

‘I’m sorry, I just thought...’ 

Mark interrupted him. ‘No, no need to apologize, I would think the same in your situation.’ 

The boy laughed a little to himself. ‘I’m Akiro, by the way.’ He extended his large hand to the younger boy. 

‘Mark Lee, nice to meet you.’ He smiled. 

Fate would have it that they were both late for the same lecture. 

***End of Flashback***

Mark glances at Akiro without much hope. ‘Painkillers? Sleeping pills?’ He asks flatly. ‘I already tried them all.’ 

The other boy chuckles. ‘No, I meant something slightly different.’ They sit down at a free bench in a small park near the university. ‘Have you considered that you might perhaps be... a bit touch-starved, Mark?’ 

The Korean looks at his friend with confusion. ‘Touch-starved?’ He asks, pronouncing each syllable slowly, barely just understanding the meaning. 

Akiro nods. ‘Yeah. It’s when you’ve been away from loved ones, from friends for way too long and you have no soulmate or significant other... Especially in such individualistic countries like Japan, it happens quite often.’ He explains and Mark thinks it through for a long moment. 

‘So, what do you think I should do?’ He asks and his friend sends him a small, sympathetic smile in consolation. ‘I can’t go home now. I have too much work and the study break is not until December.’ 

‘Well, first of all, you should figure out if this Is what’s causing your problems, Mark.’ The older boy suggests. ‘It may not be. It may just be stress or something entirely different. Something physical could be the case, maybe a visit at the hospital wouldn’t be such a bad idea. It doesn’t hurt to check.’ Mark listens to Akiro, inside thinking that it would hurt in fact; Mark’s bank account would hurt quite a bit, considering the costs of healthcare here.

He sighs sadly. ‘Maybe you’re right.’ Unconsciously, he leans closer into the slightly taller boy, leaving almost no space between them on the bench now, closer to the warmth in the chilly September weather. 

He feels the other stiffen a tiny bit at the close proximity but he doesn’t comment on it. ‘But you should definitely try this.’ He moves maybe an inch further away from Mark, putting distance between them again discreetly but Mark notices it all. He feels immediately colder again, sliding his hands between his knees to warm them. ‘I’ll send you the address later. The prices are a little high but the service is top-class, trust me.’ Akiro assures him with confidence that must come from personal experience.

‘What service?’ Mark asks curiously. 

They stand up from the bench and head back in the direction of the university, trying not to be late for the next class. 

‘You’ll see.’  Akiro only sends him a mysterious look, his eyes sparkling. 

***

That’s how Mark finds himself in front of a tall building in a pretty posh area of Tokyo he’s never been to before, one late evening. He checks the address Akiro sent him two days ago again, just to be sure. 

The third floor is where he needs to go, so still not knowing anything about this place and what it does, he takes the elevator and presses the number three with shaking hands. In the mirror on the wall, he checks his appearance. He’s straight out of the office, so his white shirt, black tie with yellow details on it and black suit jacket are still on him, black hair a little messy from the wind outside but other than that looking alright. 

He would normally have changed into something more comfortable before coming but today he’s started work at four o’clock in the afternoon and took a shower before leaving his home, so he reckons he’s still good to go. He just hopes that whatever is on the third floor is not a gym or something like that because he really can’t see himself working out in suit and slacks. 

When he steps out the elevator, lady in a pink dress greets him from behind the desk. The walls of the reception are also painted light pink and blue, there are plants and cute decorations everywhere. 

‘Hello! Welcome to “Healing Touch” cuddle café, how can I help?’ The receptionist asks brightly and Mark just stands there for a long moment with his mouth slightly open. 

A cuddle café...? That is a real thing?

‘Um... Can I just look around first? Maybe you have some pamphlet I can see?’ Mark asks hesitantly, after he regains his composure. 

She nods enthusiastically. ‘Sure.’ And hands him a few bits of paper. ‘You can read about our services here.’ She points to a red-coloured booklet then to a dark blue one. ‘And here are our prices.’ 

With hands full and heart beating strangely fast, he thanks her and moves to sit in a chair in the corner to educate himself. 

At first, he thinks he might just tell her he’s changed his mind and leave because this seems like a bad idea but then he suddenly thinks of his friends back home. He has to admit that something he really misses about Korea is the culture of skin-ship between friends. He thinks of his friend  Donghyuck and all the times they would sit with arms on each other’s shoulders by the Han river eating ice creams and basking in the late summer’s sun. 

At first glance, the rules seem pretty simple. You decide how long you want to stay; you choose the person you want your session to be with; you pay. Then you go and platonically cuddle or talk or play games together (or all three) but you can’t inappropriately touch, kiss or do any other adult activities. 

It makes Mark blush. But then what makes his cheeks colour even more is when he looks at the prices and along with them, the photos and descriptions of each of the professional “cuddlers”, if they can be called that. There are a lot of people to choose from, various ages and genders. It’s honestly all a little overwhelming. 

However, Mark quickly gets up then and approaches the desk again, trying his best to seem confident.

‘Hi, again.’ He begins awkwardly and clears his throat. ‘I’m not sure how to go about this, so I was hoping you could help me. Can I please get someone around my age for... maybe forty minutes?’ He asks quietly, biting his lip at how weird that question sounds coming out of his own mouth. ‘The cheapest option you can find me.’ Mark adds and the lady begins to flip through the dark blue booklet immediately. 

‘Okay, so for when would you like to book the appointment?’ She asks and at that moment a man around his fifties, wearing a suit similar to his own, walks out of one of the rooms that stretch far down the corridor to Mark’s left. He sends a small smile and a “thank you” to the receptionist before pressing the button on the elevator behind them. 

‘Umm... for now?’ Mark finally gets to answer the question. 

The lady presses her lips into a thin line worriedly. ‘I’m afraid that you usually need to book in advance, we may not have anyone available now. Let me just check for you.’ She sits down and begins to type on her computer. 

Few seconds later she speaks up again. ‘The only person available right now is a male, born 1995 and he’s in the more expensive range. Would you be interested or would you like to choose someone else and book them for another time?’ 

He should book someone cheaper for another time, he knows that. Or he should just decline and go home and forget about the whole thing. However, he reckons that since he’s come all the way here, he might as well just get anyone who’s available now and have this one-time experience. He doubts he’ll ever return anyway. 

‘I think I’ll go with whoever is available right now if that’s okay. Since I’m already here.’ He answers hesitantly and she smiles nodding. 

‘So, Mr Nakamoto Yuta will be looking after you for the next forty minutes.’ She begins and flips through the blue booklet again until she finds what she seems to be looking for. ‘That’s him.’ The receptionist shows him a picture. ‘I’ll just go and let him know, so he can prepare for you. Would you like any particular outfit? We have a maid, furry, casual, feminine...?’ 

Mark stares at her for a long moment, taken aback by that question. ‘Outfit?’ She only nods, waiting patiently. ‘Just... just tell him to wear whatever he likes best.’ He decides finally. 

‘Sure, no problem. I’ll be right back.’ She disappears down the long corridor. 

In the silence, Mark takes a moment to look at the picture of Nakamoto Yuta properly. He thinks the male looks very handsome and friendly. He’s smiling lightly in the photo and his eyes are sparkling, grey/blue contacts and the long ish white dyed hair suits him well. 

The lady comes back to the desk. ‘How would you like to pay?’ 

Mark pulls out his precious card. He sighs. Maybe he’s just wasting a lot of money for nothing but then again, he could use some human interaction beside his conversations with Akiro, his teachers or with his strict boss at work. 

‘Please, take a seat for a moment, I will call you when Mr Nakamoto is ready for you.’ 

Mark sits down heavily on the soft pink chair and loosens his tie a bit with cold hands when it feels like it’s beginning to choke him. 

***

He stands awkwardly at the door with number twenty-eight attached to it, hesitating to knock. His heart is pounding. 

So far, everything has been a good experience. The receptionist was nice and kind, the decorations and interior design was cute and he even got a glass of water and two banana flavoured sweets while he was waiting, to soothe his nerves. 

It didn’t help much but that’s not anyone’s fault.

After a few more seconds, he finally gathers the courage to knock, knowing well enough that his precious time is ticking. He’s paid too much for this to back out now. 

‘Come in!’ The voice is bright and so is the small room that greets his eyes when he opens the door and looks inside. 

The walls are painted in cream and white, some plants on a shelf on the wall near a small window with cream and yellow curtains. The main feature of the room is a low, big bed with a few colourful pastel pillows, various comfy blankets folded neatly and many stuffed toys placed in three rows at the top of the bed. There is a tall lamp in the corner of the room giving it bright orange glow and some fairy lights on the wall above the bed. 

However, the most important is the boy, Yuta, sitting in the middle with his legs crossed, smiling and looking up at Mark. He’s more handsome in reality than the picture, Mark decides as he walks in further and closes the door behind him. He looks like a cool, friendly anime character. 

It feels cosy but also new and strange with just the two of them in the small room, drowned in silence. 

‘Hi, I’m Yuta.’ The boy stands up, taking the initiative and he’s just a tiny bit taller than Mark. 

The black-haired boy takes the outstretched hand and shakes it lightly. It’s warm and soft. ‘I’m Mark, nice to meet you.’ From the nerves, he nearly forgets even the most basics of Japanese. 

The older male smiles nonetheless and invites him to sit together on the bed. ‘It’s your first time here?’ He asks to which Mark nods, sitting cross-legged next to Yuta after taking his shoes off and placing them neatly in the corner. 

‘I see.’ He smiles at Mark again easily. It’s a pretty smile, he has to admit. Seems very natural and relaxing to look at. He wonders if a beautiful smile is one of the job requirements to work in a place like this. ‘Would you like to tell me a bit about yourself first or should we move straight on to the cuddling...?’ He asks carefully. ‘Or maybe you would like to play a game?’ He points to the neat stack of board games in the corner. ‘Or simply tell me about your day?’ 

To be honest with himself, Mark finds himself wanting to do all of those things. It makes him realise how lonely and busy his life really has become lately. ‘We could get to know each other better first, I guess.’ He decides. 

Yuta leans forward, resting his chin on his intertwined hands and focuses all his attention on Mark. The younger feels strange at first; he has this feeling like he’s seeing a counsellor but it is not really unpleasant. He doesn’t remember anyone ever paying that much attention to him and only to him, like nothing else in the world matters. 

‘I’m Mark Lee, I’m Korean but I’ve lived some time in Canada before I moved back to Seoul with my family where I’ve lived for over ten years. Then last year I came here.’ 

‘Interesting.’ Yuta replies softly. ‘I’ve lived in Seoul for four years. I went to study and then got a few jobs here and there before deciding to come back home.’ 

Mark’s eyes widen. ‘Really?’ He accidently speaks out in Korean then presses his hand to his mouth, apologizing quickly. 

The Japanese laughs shortly. ‘Don’t worry, you can use Korean if it’s more comfortable.’ He replies in perfect Korean that stuns the other boy.

‘Wow. You speak better than I do.’ Mark compliments, happy to be able to use his native tongue to someone after so long. He continues his self-introduction after a moment of thought. ‘I came to Tokyo to study but since then I’ve been offered an internship placement in a big company and have accepted the opportunity. So, now I juggle both university and work.’ 

‘That’s nice. Hope that’s going well for you.’ Yuta’s tone of voice is so soothing and genuine. 

Mark sighs. ‘Yeah it is but very stressful with the language, work culture and pressure.’ He admits, his shoulders dropping a little. 

‘I understand you perfectly, it was the same for me in Korea for the first few months.’ He sympathises. ‘It’ll get better, I promise. Just remember that you need balance; too much stress never leads to anything good.’ 

Mark finds himself smiling a little. ‘I know... That’s why I came here, I guess.’ He’s still a little awkward, playing with the corner of his tie as he replies. ‘My friend said I might be touch-starved, whatever that means.’ 

Yuta nods like he hears that kind of remarks on daily basis. He probably does. ‘Why don’t you make yourself more comfortable Mark? Do you maybe want to take off the suit jacket? It seems heavy and hot.’ 

The black-haired boy is glad for that; he was beginning to boil in the warm room in all those layers. Without hesitation he takes off the jacket and throws it carelessly in the direction of where his shoes are, by the entrance, too lazy to get up. Yuta watches his actions and laughs when their eyes meet again. It’s an infectious kind of laugh and the other can’t help but giggle too. 

‘Now that you’re comfortable, do you want to cuddle? Or do you prefer something else? We can play games or just continue to talk, it’s your call.’ 

He thinks about it for a minute. He’s still a bit shy but this is why people come here, right? For the human touch, for the healing properties of physical contact, for the drop of comforting warmth in a city that’s frozen to the bone, regardless the season.

‘I would like the cuddle, please.’ He replies timidly, watching the Japanese boy’s smile grow a little wider. 

Yuta lays down on the bed on his left side and reaches out his arm, inviting Mark to join him, so he does. Slowly, hesitantly, he places himself as the small spoon, his back to Yuta’s chest. As the warmth of the older boy hits him, so does the reality. The reality and slight absurdity of the situation. Here he is, on a late Tuesday evening, in a foreign country, in arms of a stranger. 

Yet, even in such new, weird situation he manages to quickly relax, his body doesn’t care for nationality nor gender nor age. Yuta is warm and the way his body aligns itself with Mark’s, the way Yuta knows how to give comfort with his mere physical self to the boy in his arms is something Mark never thought he would experience in his life. 

Maybe it’s years of working in the profession, maybe it’s his natural caring nature or maybe just a pure talent, Mark has to admit that he feels safe, comforted and secure. He even dares to lean back slightly, further into Yuta, to which the other boy responds by bringing him in closer, as if glued together where their bodies meet. 

The Korean closes his eyes, releasing a deep breath he wasn’t aware he was holding. He leans his head back into the crook of Yuta’s neck, getting even more comfortable. He knows his bravery is partly because this is likely to be the only time he’s here. It’s simply too expensive, even if he wanted to come more often. 

‘Is this alright?’ It’s so close to his ear, it sends pleasant chills down Mark’s spine. 

‘Yes.’ He murmurs it, purrs it almost like a cat in response. He feels the other boy shake a little with short laughter. Embarrassed, he asks a question to distract the other and himself, too perhaps. ‘How long have you been working here,  hyung ?’ The honorific slips in naturally, without him noticing but the other doesn’t seem to mind at all. 

‘Almost two years. Not that long; there’s someone who has been here since it’s opened like... five years ago.’ 

The brunette tries to imagine that. ‘Wow, that’s a long time of cuddling strangers nearly every day.’ He’s genuinely both surprised and impressed. 

‘It’s a weird job, I admit, at first glance it may be hard to understand why this exists at all but human touch is the best medicine for stress, it has been scientifically proven.’ Yuta explains calmly, his warm breath tickles Mark’s sensitive neck.

His mind begins to wonder; he says the things that come to his mind naturally. ‘Isn’t it strange how in this world we chase things like money and career but it seems all our body and mind really need is just enough money to survive each day and a pair of hands to keep us from going insane, to keep us warm and turn down the volume of our minds.’ 

The hand that was resting still on his waist is now moving slowly, reaching to his bellybutton then naturally returning back to the dip in his waist. Mark finds himself  surprised at how much he doesn’t mind a gesture so intimate from a complete stranger. 

‘Humans want so much but they don’t need a lot at all.’ Yuta murmurs. ‘You know, Mark, I think it’s the thought that I’m bringing someone a moment of peace and contentment that make this job so rewarding. I’m sure it’s the same for all of us here.’ He confesses.

The younger boy agrees and he  lets Yuta know. After he overcame the air of awkwardness between them, now, there’s nowhere else he would rather be. Completely detached from his worries, from reality. He wouldn’t be surprised if he woke up later it turns out it was all merely a dream. 

He reaches out for a stuffed plushie that’s been in his line of sight every time he’s opened his eyes. A brown rabbit that’s really cute and reminds him of something back home but he can’t quite remember what it could be. He presses it to his chest lovingly. Perhaps, if someone saw him like this right now, they would be very confused. An adult male in a white shirt and a tie, in the arms of slightly older man, clutching a soft toy rabbit to his chest... But he doesn’t care, he’s happy; he feels transported in time, back to when he was a child, back to when everything was easy. 

***

It was harder to leave that place than he thought it would be. When Yuta gently informed him that their time together was about to end, he was disappointed like never before. 

Mark drags his body to work the next day and he already knows that yesterday can’t be the last time he’s set foot in Yuta’s little cosy room. 

‘Mr Ito, can I talk to you for a minute?’ He asks cautiously, when he sees his manager pass by his desk in a hurry. He looks annoyed at the interruption and Mark shrinks into himself a little, standing there, gripping the edge of his desk nervously. 

The older man looks at his watch briefly. ‘I only have about 30 seconds, Lee, make it quick.’ 

He clears his throat. ‘Could I please have some extra shifts this week? Or maybe work overtime in the evenings? I need money, to be honest with you, sir.’ He asks slowly, as politely as he can. 

Something softer, some new emotion flashes for a moment in his manager’s eyes. Maybe pity, maybe concern but he collects himself quickly. ‘Are you sure? You were complaining of a too busy schedule just a few weeks ago?’ 

Mark nods. ‘I know but I think I can do it. Only for a week or so.’ He answers confidently, feeling anything but that. 

‘That’s your call, Lee. You know we have a lot going on right now, I would be very happy to give you more work if you want it.’ He watches the younger boy with fierce, cold eyes of a strict businessman. 

‘Please do. For a week and then I’ll update you about what I want to do after that.’ He already feels tired at the thought but no going back now. 

Mr Ito nods. ‘Fine, then. I’ll send you your new schedule soon.’ He concludes and leaves right as Mark thanks him and bows politely. 

With a heavy sigh, he sits back at his desk. Before he goes back to writing the report, he was busy with just a few minutes before, he opens a new window in his browser and types something quickly. A very colourful webpage of the “Healing Touch” cuddle café comes up on the monitor. He finds the reservation page quickly and books a two-hour session with Nakamoto Yuta a week in advance. When the confirmation of his booking pops up on the screen, he closes the page hurriedly, his heart beating faster somehow. 

He’s dreading the week ahead but if he makes it through, he will be heavily rewarded. Mark smiles at the mere thought. Forty minutes was way too short, two hours will take away all the stress of the busy week off of his shoulders. 

He’ll make it. With determination, he starts typing again, completing the long boring report.

***

‘No offence but you look awful, Mark. Worse than last week. Have you made an appointment at the address I gave you or with the doctor like we talked?’ Akiro asks as they meet before a lecture on a Friday morning. 

The younger boy tries not to yawn as he answers. ‘I’ve been to the cuddle café and you were right, it was very helpful.’ He admits. The other boy gives him a surprised look then smiles a little. ‘The reason I’m like this is because I took extra shifts at work. I’m trying to save some money, you know.’ He explains but omits the reason why he would need it.

Akiro looks at him closely. ‘So, they were this good, huh?’ He laughs a little and continues when Mark throws him a confused look. ‘You liked the experience at the café, you want to keep going back, am I right?’ 

Mark looks to the floor, embarrassed. How did he guess it straight away? ‘No, it was nice but I doubt I’ll go back anytime soon and I want to send some money for my mother’s birthday coming up soon, reassure her I’m doing fine here. She’s always worried.’ He lies smoothly. 

The taller boy nods but doesn’t look convinced. ‘Okay, I see.’ He pats Mark on the back lightly in support. ‘Just don’t overdo it, it’s not worth your health, you know. Work is not everything.’ 

Mark smiles in return. ‘Thanks. I promise, I’m fine.’ He knows the dark circles under his eyes say otherwise but he needs money. It’s worth it. To see Yuta again, it’s all worth it. Just three more days; it’s nothing. 

They enter the lecture theatre and Mark tries his best not to fall asleep, very aware of Akiro’s worried glances sent his way. He almost makes it to the end but before he knows it, he leans his head on his arm just for a minute but then, seemingly seconds later, someone shakes his shoulder urgently. 

‘Mark!’ He wakes up abruptly to an empty classroom, Akiro staring at him wordlessly. 

He runs a hand through his hair, puzzled. ‘No... Did I really fall asleep?’ 

Akiro only nods at him and waits as he gathers his books so that they can leave. They walk the long corridors in silence for a few seconds. ‘Do you have work today as well?’ The other asks like he already knows the answer. 

‘Yeah, until midnight.’ Only now he realises this whole overtime work thing might have been a really bad idea. The last time he ate was like seven hours ago and last time he slept, excluding his nap just now, was two days ago. ‘I need to run to catch the bus. If I miss it, I’m screwed.’ He fastens his steps, Akiro following along. 

‘Hey, Mark! Take this.’ The black-haired boy stops and looks at his friend, who proceeds to take something out of his blue backpack. ‘Eat this on the bus, I’m sure you’re starving.’ He hands him a box of neatly cut up watermelon from the convenience shop and a chocolate bar. How did he know?

‘But what about you?’ Mark asks, his stomach rumbling but hesitating to take the food. 

Akiro presses his lunch into Mark’s hands quickly. ‘I’ll be fine, don’t worry. Enjoy and run for your bus!’ He points to the stop where the familiar white vehicle is currently stopping to let passengers on. 

‘Thank you! I owe you!’ Mark shouts before sprinting towards the bus, barely managing to get on before it shuts the door and speeds off. 

Once seated and breathing normally again, he opens the plastic box and stabs a piece of watermelon with the plastic stick provided inside. The cool, juicy fruit is like heaven in his mouth; he closes his eyes briefly. Watching the busy city outside the window, he wonders if Yuta likes watermelon. 

He remembers the white-haired boy’s warm hands and soft words and he smiles to himself like an idiot all the way to the company. 

***

He admits he looks beyond awful by the time Sunday finally comes around. He doesn’t have work today, so right after his morning classes, when he gets  home, he eats a quick lunch consisting of leftovers from yesterday’s take out and takes a long shower, looking forward to going to the cuddle café this evening. 

As he towel-dries his hair, he looks at the bathroom mirror and his eyes stop at the soul mark on the left side of his waist, under his heart. A part of the reason he came here were the three Japanese words visible in black ink on his pale skin. Even though it doesn’t really mean that his chances are any higher because he’s in Japan, he just thought he might try his luck here. 

Ever since he was old enough to understand the concept of soulmates, ever since he’s found out the meaning of the writing on his body, he’s always wanted to come here. At first, it was interesting that the one he’s destined to be with is not Korean like him, then it was sweet that there really is someone just for him and not for anybody else. 

When he got older, he realised his chance of finding that person is slim since only about two percent of the population finds their soulmate at any point in their lifetime but he still wanted to believe. The only thing that changed in him as he became an adult was that mentality that it doesn’t have to be his soulmate for him to be able to fall in love and be happy. That’s what his parents taught him. They’re not soulmates but they love each other so much. He grew up watching that love and decided not pay that much attention to the concept as well as that little tattoo on his chest. 

He traces his index finger along the neat words. “Pretty, deer eyes.” He smiles; he got one of the beautiful, heart-fluttering ones and he loved his mark ever since he understood what it meant and he thinks he will love it until his death, even when he’ll probably never meet the person behind the sweet thought. 

He dresses quickly into a comfortable white t-shirt and blue jeans, throwing on his dark green jacket, leaving the apartment. 

The tiredness is crushing him but the excitement is making his head spin. When he arrives at the now familiar building, his fingers tremble a little as he presses the button for the third floor and soon enough the same receptionist as last time smiles at him. He’s not sure if she recognises him without the suit.

‘Mark Lee. I have an appointment at seven o’clock.’ He says confidently and she checks it on her computer. 

‘That’s all fine. Seven o’clock for two hours with Mr Nakamoto Yuta.’ She recites and he nods. ‘Can I, please, take the payment now?’ 

The boy hands her his precious card with a heavy but happy heart. He’s been working so hard for this the entire week. 

‘That’s all done. Please, wait until I call you.’ She smiles and Mark moves to the side to sit on the same chair in the corner like last time. 

The kind receptionist offers him the same banana-flavoured sweets as last time too and he accepts gratefully. He pops one into his mouth, watching her walk towards Yuta’s room, probably to let him know that he’s here.

Mark feels more nervous this time somehow as he stands by the door again, ready to knock. Something within him wants to scream; he has no idea what is going on with him but it feels big, it feels important. Some weird feeling that this is exactly where he should be. A feeling that all the paths he’s walked so far were so right, leading him to where he is right now. 

He knocks and the voice he’s missed so much calls for him. 

Pushing open the door, he’s faced with similar scene as last time. Yuta’s smile is as pretty and radiant as ever. He’s wearing similar clothes too but this time his top is red and it compliments his complexion well, along with his white hair that seems a tad longer now. 

‘Mark.’ The black-haired boy just stands there with a smile on his lips for a moment before he quickly closes the door behind him, hurriedly takes off his worn-out trainers and almost runs into Yuta’s arms. 

‘Hyung.’ He breathes into the hug, eyes closed in joy and relief, shoulders dropping, pressure leaving him as soon as the other boy wraps his arms around him in a tight embrace. ‘I missed you.’ He says, happy to be able to talk in his native tongue again after a long week of struggling with Japanese. 

‘I missed you too. I thought you won’t come back again.’ Yuta confesses as he rubs his hand up and down Mark’s back. 

The warmth he’s been dreaming about, the solid presence he was missing all week is back and he doesn’t want to ever let go. ‘Why did you think that?’ 

‘Well, we have some regulars but most people come here only once.’ 

Mark breathes in the sweet scent radiating off the other boy, pressing himself even closer. ‘I’m sorry it took so long, I had to take some extra shifts at work to make the money...’ He feels bad for making Yuta think he won’t come back again. 

‘No, no, that’s not what I meant. Don’t apologise, Mark.’ He rushes to reassure, one of his hands moving to run through his black hair soothingly. ‘I know this isn’t a cheap thing. I’m sorry you had to work  more; you should have just rested.’ 

They finally separate from each other enough to look at the other’s face. It’s still so close though, Mark stares into Yuta’s eyes. A little dazed, he notices the Japanese boy is not wearing his blue contacts today and his natural brown eyes that Mark has been wanting to see since last time are so beautiful. In a moment of sheer panic that shakes his heart momentarily, he realises that he’s falling in love. 

‘It’s nothing.’ He murmurs and his heart is beating so fast, tears appearing in his eyes suddenly out of seemingly nowhere due to the overwhelming emotions and the deep exhaustion set deep in his bones. He’s starting to feel dizzy and it seems like there is no air to breathe. 

Yuta places his soft palms on each side of his face, realising what’s going on. ‘Mark, breathe, it’s okay.’ He strokes his cheeks gently with his thumbs and the younger feels like his head is under water but at the same time he knows he’ll be fine. ‘Sit here.’ Yuta helps him to move into a half-sitting, half-laying position on the bed, propped against the soft pillows and plushies. ‘Do you want some water?’ 

Mark shakes his head. ‘I’m fine, thank you,  hyung .’ He looks at the other with a small smile, his breath evening out finally, feeling a little better. 

The Japanese still looks at him with a concern in his big eyes but the younger just reaches out his arms like a child, asking Yuta to return to cuddling him. Chuckling a little, he lays down next to Mark and embraces him easily as if they’ve been doing it since forever. 

‘Cute.’ Yuta comments and he blushes, hiding his face in the other boy’s neck. 

How is he doing it? How is his touch, his embrace able to make Mark’s body so soft, so pliant like that? It’s almost like he’s moulding himself to fit Yuta’s every curve. ‘Hyung, tell me more about yourself. What did you do in Korea?’ He asks, curious. A whole week apart was too long.

‘I went to study like I said, to change my environment, to experience something new.’ He begins. ‘I had fun. I finished university, so I decided to stay and look for a job but I wasn’t very lucky. I did some random, part-time jobs but nothing really solid. I grew tired and hopeless, so I came back home.’ 

‘Did you make a lot of friends?’ 

The hand on Mark’s back stills for a short moment before it resumes its calming movement up and down, from his shoulder to the base of his spine. ‘Some.’ Silence falls for a moment between them before Yuta continues in a slightly lower voice. ‘You know, it may sound silly but I went to Korea hoping that I might find them there.’ 

Even without asking, Mark knows what “them” he’s referring to and his heart makes a high jump in his chest at the thought. ‘It’s not silly at all.’ He understands that so well, after all he’s done the exact same, despite convincing himself not to have that stupid hope. ‘Did you...’ he stutters. ‘Did you find them?’ As he asks, his every nerve seems like it’s on fire, waiting for the answer. 

‘No.’ 

He breathes a little deeper at the answer and realises how deep he’s managed to fall for the boy. ‘So, your soulmate mark is written in Korean?’ He asks, unable to stop himself. 

‘It is.’ He laughs inwardly like there is some secret behind his mark but he doesn’t seem to want to share it. 

The younger tries not to think about how their marks seem to match each other. At least in the language aspect. There’s been so many cases before when that happened to him and it only  led to disappointment. He’s past that; he grew up not to hope for one in a million. He chose to trust his heart and stop waiting for something that won’t ever happen. 

‘It’s all such bullshit.’ He states suddenly, completely giving up and Yuta laughs again. 

He moves away to look at Mark’s face, expectant. ‘What is?’ He asks. 

The black-haired boy lets his eyes travel all over Yuta’s handsome face. His dark eyes, his elegantly straight nose, his thick heart-shaped lips. ‘This whole soulmate nonsense.’ Why look for “the one”, when right now, in his eyes, in his mind, there is only one person anyway? How dare anyone say that this isn’t the one? ‘Who, the fuck, gets to decide who is perfect for me and who isn’t? What, the universe? Or maybe God or destiny?’ 

“Screw destiny, if it thinks there is a better one for me than you”, he wants to say but stops himself. 

Yuta raises his brows at his sudden outburst. ‘Wow, you’ve thought much about it, huh?’ He asks with amusement in his voice.

‘I’m sorry, I just... I guess I just don’t believe in it anymore.’ He apologises looking away from the other boy’s eyes in shame. ‘I’m sorry, perhaps you think differently. I didn’t mean to offend you.’ 

Yuta moves his hand from Mark’s back to place it at his chin and gently make the boy look at him again. ‘It’s okay, I think you’re probably right.’ Mark doesn’t miss the way Yuta glances at his lips briefly before bringing them back up to his eyes. ‘It’s useless.’ 

Something about this moment. Mark really wants to kiss him but then he remembers the rules. He’s agreed to follow them. Kissing is not allowed, so he adjusts his position on the bed and presses his face into Yuta’s chest, breathing out, closing his eyes. 

Gentle fingers run through his hair as he falls into a sleep that’s better than any night he’s had since he’s crossed the border. 

***

‘Mark...’ It’s warm and cosy. ‘Mark, wake up.’ 

He opens his eyes to Yuta staring down at him with a calm expression. For a moment, he’s so confused until he sits up on the bed and sees the fairy lights on the wall, the small room painted in cream. ‘Did I fall asleep?’ He asks, still a little spaced out.

‘Yeah. You looked so  peaceful; I didn’t want to wake you. Not until I absolutely had to.’ 

He’s under a soft, pink blanket and it’s now completely dark outside the window. ‘Does it mean our time is over?’ He doesn’t mean to sound this  sad; it just comes out like that without his permission. 

‘Nearly. It’s ten to nine.’ The older boy takes his hand and squeezes a little. 

Mark moves closer. ‘Hyung, I don’t know when I’ll be able to come again, if at all.’ He confesses with a heavy heart. ‘It’s expensive, I would have to keep working overtime and I don’t think I can keep doing that. It’s too exhausting.’ 

‘I understand.’ Yuta nods and tries to smile but he can’t hide the disappointment. It breaks Mark’s heart into tiny pieces. ‘I knew it from the moment you walked in here today. You need rest, you need to take care of yourself.’ With his left hand he fixes the younger’s hair that was falling into his eyes. 

“I want you to take care of me”, he doesn’t say it out loud  because he’s not allowed to. 

He knows he should be getting ready to leave and he doesn’t want to because he’s falling in love and it’s not fair. ‘You know, when I met you last week, I thought you looked like an anime character.’ He chuckles looking down to his hands. ‘I know it’s a silly first thought about someone but just now, what you said, reminded me of a scene from an anime I once watched.’ He looks up at the white-haired boy when there is a long pause that follows. Yuta looks lost in thought staring down at their intertwined hands and Mark wonders if he’s said something wrong. 

Yuta looks back at him, a soft smile back on his lips. ‘You’re not the first one to say that, you know. It must be the platinum blonde hair.’ The younger can’t tell exactly what it is but there is something hiding behind the older boy’s eyes, something is not right with the smile either. It’s not like all the pretty ones he’s received before but he doesn’t ask. 

‘I should get going.’ He says and doesn’t move from his position. Neither does Yuta. They stare at each other in silence for half a minute as if waiting for the other to make a move of some sort but that doesn’t happen. 

‘You should.’ Yuta whispers and blinks a few times, looking away, getting up suddenly. 

Mark follows quickly with some terrible pain in his chest that has come from nowhere. He puts on his jacket and shoes, standing by the door awkwardly, aware that the other is watching him. 

‘Can I have one last hug?’ He asks shyly. There are arms snaking around his neck as soon as he finishes his question. 

“How will I live without you? How will I sleep ever again without you?” Mark thinks as he closes his eyes and tries to remember this moment and all the other ones they shared. He tries so hard to engrave it in his useless brain. 

It’s way too soon when they let go of each other. ‘Take care, Mark. I hope you finish your studies well and good luck at work.’ Yuta tells him honestly; his eyes seem darker now somehow. Maybe it’s just the lighting.

‘Thanks,  hyung .’ He smiles. ‘For everything, it really helped me a lot.’ Mark opens the door. ‘I hope we meet again someday.’ He says and his tone is unintentionally melancholic. 

After the last goodbyes, he closes the door and the pain in his chest intensifies. As he turns around and takes a few unsteady steps out into the corridor, he nearly crashes into the receptionist. 

‘Ah, I’m sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going...’ He apologizes quickly. 

She waves her hand dismissively. ‘It’s nothing, don’t worry. I was just on the way to Mr  Nakomoto’s room. His last client of the day just cancelled.’ She explains briefly, friendly expression on her face. ‘Goodbye, Mr Lee.’ 

Mark bows quickly and continues to walk towards the exit but now somewhat slowly. As he rides the empty elevator down, he wonders if he could wait for Yuta, who is now done with work, as he’s just unintentionally found out. Stepping outside, the evening is dark and it’s starting to rain, the wind also much stronger than the breeze Mark felt on his way here. 

He puts on the hood of his jacket over his head and decides that waiting for Yuta like this will make him look like a creeper. Plus, it is against the rules of the café after all and he doesn’t want Yuta to lose his job. After standing under the little roof and watching the rain for a few seconds, he finally begins to walk towards the bus stop. 

However, he doesn’t walk far, maybe twenty steps or so before someone calls his name. A voice he recognises very well. Everything freezes and his heart begins to beat faster in the second it takes for him to turn around. 

There, in the now heavier rain, by the door of the grey building he’s just exited, stands Yuta. He holds his own black parka in one hand and a blue backpack in the other, looking as if he rushed and run here. His red t-shirt is getting wet but he doesn’t seem to care. 

‘Mark!’ He calls again and the Korean worries that he’s getting cold and wet, just standing there but he’s so surprised he doesn’t know what to do for a second, frozen. 

‘Yuta- hyung ...’ He finally says and he’s not even sure if the other can hear him but then he sees the blonde man smile so wide and run over, dropping his bag and parka to the wet pavement, his arms naturally reaching out to hug the younger boy. 

Without thinking, Mark places his arms around the Japanese boy’s neck. ‘I thought meeting with clients outside of work was against the rules.’ He says, the side of his face pressed comfortably into Yuta’s shoulder. 

‘It is.’ He confirms. ‘I don’t care.’ He adds right away and Mark wants to laugh, feeling butterflies in his stomach. 

They separate enough to be able to look at each other but still holding one another loosely. Yuta’s hair is damp with some of the strands sticking to his forehead cutely. Mark runs his fingers through the wet locks and manages to mess it up even more somehow. He smiles widely as it  begins to look even more adorable than before. 

Mark’s sure he’s in love. 

‘I couldn’t let you go.’ Yuta whispers and they lock eyes again, just like that time in the little room on the third floor where it all started. ‘There was something between us and I know... I know you felt it too.’ He says it confidently but still searches shyly in the younger’s eyes for confirmation. 

Mark moves closer, the corners of his lips move upwards delicately. ‘Kiss me.’ His voice shakes just a tad; he closes his eyes as Yuta doesn’t waste any time to do what he’s asked to. 

He didn’t think there could be anything better in this world than Yuta’s hug but now he knows that there is. There are slow, soft, warm kisses. The same way Mark’s body seemed to be starving for Yuta’s cuddles, his lips too, it seems, have been starving for Yuta’s kisses. 

They’re so breathless when they separate. Mark didn’t even notice when the rain has stopped. It seems quieter too, the wind is back to just a small breeze, barely there. They just smile at each other like teens, naïve and high on love. 

‘Mark. Can you please say it?’ Yuta is suddenly asking him, his left hand moves from Mark’s shoulder to place it on his own chest, under his heart, where his soulmate mark should be. 

What? Mark looks at him with wide eyes. Why is he asking that? Just when Mark gave up on trying to find his soulmate and was so happy to just be in love... 

‘I don’t understand... Why?’ 

Yuta sighs. ‘What you said before you left... I...’ he stutters and he’s close to tears. ‘It can’t be just a coincidence, not this time.’ It looks like he’s talking to himself now, irritation seeping into his voice. ‘Mark, I just know. It must be you.’ 

‘And what if it’s not me?’ He asks in a tiny voice, his hands closing into fists at Yuta’s hips, gripping the hems of his t-shirt from nervousness. The older boy just kisses his lips again, a silent reassurance. 

He breathes in the cold night air and then lets it go slowly. ‘He looks like a cool anime character.’ Mark finally says, recalling the first thought he’s had when he saw Yuta, so clear in his mind. 

The Japanese laughs a little, it’s a relieved chuckle, Mark can tell. He watches as the other lifts his damp t-shirt up to reveal the exact same sentence is Korean, written in rich black ink on the light skin. He watches for a longer moment, glad for the street lamp near them that casts a light on the tattoo for him to see. He just knows this memory will stay with him forever. 

He’s so happy for a moment but he knows that it’s not over yet. He tries not to get too excited; he tries to stay calm. ‘Your turn.’

Yuta places his hand on his cheek and strokes lightly, keeping their gazes locked. ‘Pretty, deer eyes.’ He says carefully in Japanese and Mark feels like his knees are giving up on him. 

He can feel it. The light pain they describe on TV when your mark is turning from black to red upon finding your soulmate. He knows Yuta can feel it too. 

‘It’s you.’ Mark breathes, unzipping his jacket and lifting his shirt to show the other his, now red in colour mark. ‘It’s really you.’ He doesn’t finish his thought, feeling a little faint again, so he grabs and holds Yuta’s arms tightly and leans his heavy head on the other’s shoulder.

The older boy brings him in closer, supporting the brunette with his strong frame, hands warm and solid as ever on Mark’s thin waist, making him feel secure again. ‘Lean on me, my love, I’ll take care of you.’ 

With the sweet things Yuta whispers in his ear, Mark’s every breath gets calmer and deeper just like the dark night in the neon-bright city that never sleeps. 

“Time-crossed,

Our hearts are connected

Under the same sky.” 

‘Sun & Moon’ by NCT127


End file.
